HOME | WELLness
from The Aquarian, Spring 2001
HEALING WITHOUT HARMING

Just because a healer is holistic doesn't mean s/he's good for you

P R O T E C T   Y O U R S E L F

By GAIL MATHESON

Cathy was on a healing path from a history of sexual abuse. On the surface, the Winnipeg alternative healer she turned to for help was not unlike other New Age counsellors whose practice happens to consist mostly of women. But after a few sessions, the man said something that startled Cathy (not her real name). There was a way, he told her, that she might be able to release some of the energy blockages that were inhibiting her sexuality: Have intercourse with someone she trusted. Someone like him.

A scan of The Aquarian quickly reveals the growing number and variety of local practitioners of nonmainstream healing. It's no surprise. Research shows that people tend to view the medical doctor's office as a place to go when ill, not necessarily when you want to get well. Alternative healing practices commonly address this longing for "wellness beyond the absence of illness." Many of these practices involve intimate physical or emotional contact. And as their number grows, so do the stories.

Being a practitioner of Reiki and spiritual healing, I have seen and heard some wonderful ones. But I've also been privy to accounts of sexual or emotional abuse – even physical assault. These unfortunate incidents demonstrate that mainstream medicine does not have a monopoly on misconduct. They also serve as a caution that people treading the holistic path to health must do so with their eyes wide open.

Vulnerable Victims

Many violations of ethical behaviour are blatant: overt sexual advances, the use of illegal drugs or alcohol "to enhance the healing experience." Others – compounded, sometimes, by the shroud of mystery that surrounds many alternative techniques – are more subtle. We usually know fairly well what to expect in terms of comportment and procedures from medical practitioners. But we may not have a clue when entering the clinic of an energy worker, a shaman, or even a naturopath or an acupuncturist. Here, subtle, not-so-easily identifiable misconduct may take the form of manipulating a client into emotional dependency or "consensual" sexual involvement or into expending precious hope and money on a false miracle cure.

In response to a notice in the last issue of The Aquarian, I received many phone calls from people interested in being anonymously interviewed for this article. As luck would have it, all but one (described in the opening paragraph) concerned the same practitioner: a person who, for legal reasons, we have very cautiously chosen to describe only as a spiritual healer. We must therefore stress what should be obvious: unethical healers come from all fields, holistic and mainstream. Indeed, after this manuscript was submitted to The Aquarian, I learned of another alleged offender. Once again, to protect innocent practitioners in the same small field, we will describe this middle-aged man only as a practitioner of a "popular form of alternative healing."

According to a former client, this alternative healer instructed her to fully disrobe for her first session – a very unusual request, but one to which she consented because he practiced out of a reputable holistic clinic. During the session she was startled when the man suddenly and persistently attempted to give her genitals a "sexual massage."

It appears this "sexual healer's" offences soon caused him to move on to at least two other local clinics before, as far as my sources can tell, his reputation became an open secret within the holistic community. He no longer appears to be practicing.

Over the years, I have also heard of other alternative practitioners in Winnipeg – male and female – who have breached commonly accepted standards of ethical conduct.

As for the "spiritual healer" about whom I received the most complaints, we have chosen to call him "Peter." By many accounts, Peter tends to strike people as an attractive, charming, even charismatic man. Though others sense an unsavoury side, enough people find it easy to establish a rapport with Peter and to trust him as a would-be healer.

Each of the six women who called me had met Peter at a public healing event. Afterwards, Peter suggested they sign up for more focused, one-on-one sessions. The women consented to these meetings, some of which necessitated their being very lightly clothed. During the one-on-one sessions, they reported that Peter would gradually nudge their clothing higher and higher up their legs. When they confronted him about this, he claimed he had been deep into the healing process and oblivious to having done anything untoward.

After the sessions, the women said Peter told them he wanted to get to know them better personally – to go out for coffee, take a walk at the zoo, even visit each other at home. The distinction between a professional and a personal relationship was being blurred, and most of the women suspected Peter's intentions were sexual. Still, they accepted his offer. As one caller explained, she thought she must be paranoid. After all, Peter was a healer – he must be on the up and up.

But before long, Peter did make sexual advances – and the women all consented. Peter became their would-be healer and lover. And they now were deeply confused. Was he healer, boyfriend, or both? And why, as time passed, did he begin to pull away from them just when they were feeling more needy and dependent than ever? Eventually, some of them confronted Peter. His cool reply, they said, was that there was something wrong with them. They had better get sorted out inside. The relationship was over.

It was a traumatic end to what should have been a healing relationship. The word "betrayed" came up a lot. One woman was outraged because she had gone to Peter to help heal her wounds from past relationships and he had just added a new one, only worse. His wound had cut more deeply because she had trusted him as a healer. She didn't know how she would continue her healing now. Peter had set her back, not forward.

Another woman – a single mother – was upset because her son had also become attached to Peter. Now Peter had simply "moved on."

Some readers might wonder why these women tolerated such inappropriate behaviour and kept "coming back for more," entering deeper and deeper into Peter's trap. To veteran Winnipeg hypnotherapist John Tozeland it's no mystery.

"When people come for healing," says Tozeland, co-owner of the Aurora Center for Well Being on Portage Avenue, "they are already in a vulnerable situation. They may be thinking like victims and willing to give up control to someone else for a time." Nor does it help that the intimately personal bond that can develop between a healer and client makes it easy for a very needy, though otherwise reasonable individual to be manipulated into a relationship that serves the selfish motives of the healer at the client's expense.

It doesn't have to be that way.

Power to the Client

In my discussions with holistic therapists about their views on professional integrity, a common theme emerged:
 

Ethical therapists strive to empower their clients, not use them – to respect their integrity, not violate it.


"The goal," comments John Tozeland, "should be empowering the client. The client is in control; they choose the direction that the healing will take."

Client-centered psychotherapist Christel Kraft even hesitates to call herself a healer. "It is the person seeking healing that is doing the healing. I am only a facilitator. A practitioner shouldn’t push you emotionally someplace you don’t want to go," says the Victoria Beach, Manitoba, resident. Kraft uses her intuition and observational skills to let the client lead the way as she facilitates the journey through the bumps and joys of the healing process.

According to Clare Morgan of the Arbor Sancta Sophiae Center for Healing (Holy Tree of Wisdom), the healing relationship should be based on respect and nonjudgement. "I work from the principle that you harm none. You respect where the person is at, no matter where they are in their journey," she says. Morgan also espouses a certain professional humility. "You don’t do more than you are qualified for. If the person needs to look at herbal remedies, don’t prescribe things if this isn’t your area of expertise. If the person needs psychological therapy, don’t do what you aren’t qualified to do."

And don't promise, let alone try to defy the laws of nature, suggests Julie, an instructor with the Manitoba Healers Network, where spiritual energy is the coin of therapy. "If a person comes with a withered hand, we will not work to make the hand whole. Instead, the energy is directed to facilitate peace and understanding – and acceptance of where the person is at right now." That, and "working on understanding the meaning of the illness for the person at this point in their life."

Who Can You Trust?

There is no reason to believe that unethical healers constitute more than a small minority within the field of holistic healing. But even one bad apple can have a devastating effect upon the lives of many. How can you tell if a healer might really be a harmer? How can you protect yourself? 

There are no surefire formulas. But drawing upon the suggestions of other healers as well as my own research and experience, here are some things you can do to take care of yourself when seeking the care of others.
 

  • Guard your boundaries. "There is a strong love energy that flows between a practitioner and client, but it is agape love [spiritual love], not sexual," says John Tozeland. "The practitioner needs to be very clear about boundaries," Tozeland adds. "If a client feels like the practitioner is hitting on them, trust this feeling and explore it. If there can’t be an honest dialogue about it, you may need a different practitioner." 
  • Find out exactly what the healer is offering and how that compares to what you're looking for. Be wary of healers who promise miracles – who guarantee they can fix whatever ails you, no matter how dire. Ask for evidence. Are there studies? Has their approach worked for other clients with your problem – clients you can speak to? 
  • Ask up front about cost. Fees do not necessarilly reflect a practitioner's capability or integrity, but those who offer their services for a donation (usually lay healers) or on a sliding scale are at least unlikely to be motivated by greed. That said, I believe it's important to try and pay something – in coin or in kind – so you don't feel indebted or beholden to a healer. 
  • How open is the healer to your questions? Secrecy is incompatible with informed consent. You should be able to find out anything you want to know about a healer’s philosophy and practice. 
  • Ask the healer what she has done to facilitate her own healing. "A healer needs to develop their own level of wholeness to be a clear path for energy to flow," offers Christel Kraft. "They can only facilitate healing as far as they have gone in their own process. And that means working to know all aspects of their selves, including the dark places inside." To that end, many healers have chosen a spiritual path. Knowing what it is can help you decide if a particular healer is right for you. 
  • Beware of healers bearing big egos. "Be careful if a healer tells you that you must do whatever they tell you to do, or that they must be the only healer that you go to," cautions Clare Morgan of the Arbor Sancta Sophiae Center for Healing (Holy Tree of Wisdom), a home-based Winnipeg practice. "That type of thing comes from the healer's ego." For John Tozeland "the [healing] relationship is about the practitioner or therapist being a conduit between spirit and the client. The practitioner is not creating the healing. If they say they are, that is their ego getting in the way." A healer who claims she is an exclusive channel for some Higher Being is unlikely to help you access higher wisdom and power for yourself. 
  • A good healer tries to work himself out of a job, not keep you coming back for more. It's a good sign, for example, if he teaches you practices you can use on your own. In my own work as a healer, I recognize that abundance flows throughout the universe and that when one client moves on, another will be brought to me to fill the void. 
  • Hear it on the grapevine. Ask people you trust – including other healers – if they can recommend a practitioner. Sometimes a prospective healer can provide you with references from her own clients. To respect client confidentiality, she will have to ask their permission first. But, especially if she claims dramatic success stories, she should have grateful clients who would be happy to talk to you. 
  • Find out if there is a regulatory body for your prospective therapist's discipline. Just as medical doctors have professional bodies that legislate and enforce ethical standards for their members, so too do some alternative practitioners, including chiropractors, massage therapists, and clinical psychologists, among others. A simple phone call or fax may reveal if the healer has a record of misconduct. Most spiritual healing and energy work practitioners – Reiki and therapeutic touch, for example – do not have monitoring bodies, unless they belong to another profession that does. Instead, they may have voluntary membership associations from which they can be expelled for misconduct, yet remain free to practice. Again, a simple call or fax can uncover a "record." However, a healer who chooses not to belong to an association may have nothing at all to hide other than not being a joiner. Still, as John Tozeland points out, "being connected with some body. . . .means that the practitioner will likely be operating from some code of ethics." 
  • Don't be a loner. If there is anything you find suspicious about your therapist, discuss it with a confidante. If you're going to be alone and vulnerable with a healer who has yet to earn your trust, consider having a friend accompany you. 
  • Search yourself. Are you looking for healing in all the wrong places? "Some people go from one therapist and workshop and seminar to another when what they really need is a good counsellor," says Bev Rayburn of the Sound Centre on Sherbrook Street. Sooner or later, denying psychological problems that may make you vulnerable to abuse by an unethical healer could lead you right into one's arms. 
  • Above all else, maintain your autonomy and self-responsibility. You do not owe the healer your loyalty "no matter what." The healer provides the setting and the tools, but it's up to you to choose whether to participate in any activity, whether to follow the healer's directions – or whether to walk out the door. It's your health and welfare that is on the line, not the healer's. If something doesn't feel right to you, it may not be right.

    •  

     

    Winnipeg Reiki teacher and healer Gail Matheson thanks all the people who contacted her while researching this article. To those with whom she was unable to follow up due to time constraints, she extends her sincere apologies.
    Codes of Conduct

    Like their counterparts in mainstream medicine, many practitioners of complementary and alternative modalities are bound by a code of ethical practices. For example, many practitioners of Therapeutic Touch belong to an organized body of peers called the Therapeutic Touch Network. Membership in TTN not only means practitioners have completed an approved program of training but that they promise to adhere to the organization's code of ethical conduct. For example, the Statement of Ethics and Conduct for the Practice of Therapeutic Touch includes the following pledge: 

    I will ensure that all interpersonal transactions between myself and the client are non-exploitive and essential to their care.
    The International Centre for Reiki Training also publishes a code of conduct for its many practitioners. It explicitly states:
    Always treat your students and clients with the greatest respect. Never engage in any illegal or immoral activity with your clients or students. Never touch their pelvic area or breasts, never ask them to disrobe, and never make sexual comments, jokes or references.
    Locally, The Manitoba Healers Network provides training in spiritual healing to its members. They work with energy fields (spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical) to facilitate recovery from illness, surgery, or the effects of traumatic treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Their services are meant to be complementary to conventional medicine. (Editor's note: Despite considerable suggestive evidence, the existence of energy fields that can be manipulated therapeutically is still a grey area scientifically.)

    "All members are expected to adhere to a code of conduct, and this code is published and readily available to the public," says MHN President, Gordon McKee. One of the instructions in their very detailed code reads: 

    When a Healing Therapist is giving private treatment to a person of the opposite sex it is advisable for the Healer to request the presence of a third party whose bona fides the Healer can accept.
    Practitioners who violate these codes can be disciplined or removed from the membership of their respective bodies. Unfortunately, they are still legally free to continue practicing.
    Gail Matheson

    All contents copyright © 2000 The Aquarian.
    16 Victoria Row, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, R2M 1Y2
    ph: (204) 255-4884 | fax: (204) 255-5057
    We welcome your comments, questions, and suggestions.
    www.aquarianonline.com | info@aquarianonline.com