Acknowledge your love

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By MARYMICHELLE LOTANO

One Friday afternoon, I stood in line at Costco waiting to pick up pizza and salads. To my left sat a mom with two small boys. The boys were eating and playing, although there was very little food consumption actually happening. All of a sudden, they looked up and saw their dad coming across the parking lot. The boys rushed to meet him and he did the same. There were hugs and laughter. The joy was everywhere.

As I watched him approach the table where their mother was sitting, I wondered how he would acknowledge her presence. In my mind, I begged him to make her his priority; to head straight for her and impart the same warm and loving greeting to her eyes, her cheek or her essence. But, he did not.

Acknowledge Your LoveInstead, he went straight for his hot dog, picked it up from the table, headed to the condiments bar and returned to the table to focus on his children. There was no moment of eye contact, no caress of her cheek, no hug and no soft kiss hello to her lips. It was an uneventful coming together. My heart sank.

Acknowledging the people we love is the greatest gift we can give them. We often fall into the rabbit hole of giving material items to show our dedication and love. We believe the items we procure for our loved ones will show them that we are taking care of them. We go to work and provide an income, which in turn provides food, shelter and clothing. But these gifts do not create intimacy or build connection. Instead, they create a defined world that is tangible and easily identified as providing what a human being needs to sustain themselves and survive. In our successful creation of our physical cocoon, we become comfortable. Our duties have been fulfilled and our expectations have been met. We are satisfied.

Yet, we yearn for emotional intimacy. We are lonely and we feel isolated from the people who come and go through our front door and sleep in our bed. How do we change this inadequate flow of energy? What do we need to share with each other to turn the emotional tide toward connection? The answer is different for everyone, but it has to start with something as simple as saying “yes” to a few small—but significant—changes. It is imperative that we say “yes!” to each other.

Say “yes!” to:

Sharing Our Wisdom

Sharing Our Intuition

Sharing Our Fears

 

Holding Hope

Holding Hands

Holding Space In Our Hearts

 

Creating Joy

Creating Vitality

Creating A Safe Place

 

Experiencing Faith

Experiencing Gratitude

Experiencing Laughter

 

Being Open

Being Honest

Being Vulnerable

 

Persevering Through The Anger

Persevering Though The Boredom

Persevering Through The Disappointments

 

Giving Our Time

Giving Our Attention

Giving Physical Affection

 

Thinking Before We Say No

Thinking Before We Criticize

Thinking Before We Insist We Are Right

 

Loving With Innocence

Loving With Tenderness

Loving Without Reservation

 

Say YES!

 

ShelliAuthor of Circles of the Soul, Marymichelle Lotano has explored the areas of personal growth, meditation and art. Ms. Lotano is currently a full time writer and mother, residing in Carlsbad, California. Visit: circlesofthesoul.net.

 
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One Response

  1. Bettie

    November 15, 2016 9:37 am

    Well, maybe he was mad at her about something. Could’ve been serious, and his anger was justified.

    Anyway, your mention of two small boys brought back a hideous memory for me. A few years ago I was in the waiting room of an acupuncture doctor, sitting next to the doctor’s two young boys who had to be there all day, every day during the summer, as no babysitter was available at home. These two lads were play fighting in a mild, quiet and restrained way, causing no disturbance at all. The father/doctor told them to be still, which they did for awhile but then, being bored, restarted their interactions with each other.

    The father walked over to them and twisted their ears real hard. They both looked as if they had been pole-axed between the eyes. Really, I cannot describe this adequately. Their ears turned red, too, and the boys clutched them. They must’ve been in some pain, as later at home I tried the same thing on myself and it bloody hurt.

    Maybe this is standard issue discipline in China, I don’t know.

    Reply

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