Crash and Grow

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It might be a car accident, an illness or the death of a loved one. Perhaps it’s the loss of a job or a divorce. There are many scenarios that could cause us to feel as if our world is falling apart around us, which can feel like the worst thing in the world.

Over the course of my life, I’ve had a few events that caused me to feel like my world had fallen apart. One such time was 18 years ago when I discovered I had a tumour growing in my womb instead of a baby. A surgeon removed it and, after learning it wasn’t cancerous, the event forced me to take stock of my life and face the truth—I wasn’t happy in my life or with anything I was doing. As painful as this time was, it led me on a path of self-healing, one that has been an on-going process.

One way that helped me to accept the situation was the thought that I needed a catalyst to crumble my inner world so I could grow. It may sound like a platitude—what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. In my case, I chose to see it as a truth. I was grateful to be alive. I had my family, including my daughter at the time, and I wanted to change my life. I had no idea how I would do it; I only knew I had to.

I chose to start writing, which made me happy. I self-published a book of poetry. I learned how to write novels and I quit a job that made me unhappy. I made a lot of changes and I continued to be as self-aware as I could at any given time. I began to see patterns of behaviour and made conscious choices not to follow them. Other times, I learned how I had recreated a pattern of behaviour in a completely different way which challenged my perception of the pattern. Once I could see it differently, I could then feel when I was about to repeat it and stop myself. It has been an ongoing process in my life and it is one I continue on a deeper level daily. I believe we have a choice in how we handle situations.

When the outer world appears to crash around us, we can choose to step back and observe what our mind wants to do in the moment. Perhaps our first reaction is anger, panic or sadness. These emotions serve as a tool for us to realize how we really feel about what is happening. When we become aware of our emotions, we can choose not to react from them. These crashes in our life can also serve as a sounding board for when a similar thing might have happened to us before and how we reacted in the past. By observing the story, we tell ourselves in our heads that we can choose to re-write it in the moment. This doesn’t mean we cover it up with platitudes or fake positivity. It means we feel what we are feeling and choose to react differently. In other words, we can crash and grow from the experience.

While I may not fully be there yet, my belief is that one day it will not feel as if life crashes around me. From personal experience, over the years on my healing journey, when I have had a major life event happen, it becomes less and less of a stress. I have come to believe that I can handle what comes my way. This signals significant growth for me.

How have you handled life events that caused you stress? Please share with me and the readers.

© Kellie Kamryn, 2017

IMG_0499Kellie Kamryn is an award-winning erotic romance writer and voice actor, as well as former columnist for Evolved World. Her articles receive a wide reception on her personal website and elsewhere for her commitment to keeping it real, and helping people get in touch with their inner truth by sharing her personal experiences. Kellie loves to hear from readers, so if you have an experience to share, please comment!


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