The Tools Helping Me Manage

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Anxiety and depression talks, Part 3


Creating harmony between the surfacing anxiety, and the love and joy in my life is an ongoing journey. At times, it can feel as painful as it is joyful. Years ago, when my doctor and I discovered my depression, we decided on a medication to start with. Then with other health professionals, I researched and found a holistic option which my doctor approved. We weaned me off of one and onto the other. We also made sure I had the right vitamin intake for proper brain function and, to this day, I continue to take vitamins B12 and D, multi-vitamins, calcium and magnesium, and green powder blends mixed with water.

In addition, over the years I’ve worked with various practitioners and have found some success with bioresonance therapy and acupuncture. My inner body work with Darlene Drewniak has helped me release old patterns of programming that had formerly allowed my anxiety to run rampant throughout my life. We all need to find someone who can assist us with bodywork, whether that be lightworkers, empaths, gridkeepers or another type of expert.

For physical exercise, I began taking classes in Chinese internal martial arts, in particular The Eight Pieces of Brocade Qigong, Zhang Zhuan (Standing Stake or Standing Still Like a Tree), and Baguazhang. A friend of mine taught these classes so I did some research on them. In ancient times, warriors used these not only to fight on the battlefield but to heal and rejuvenate their bodies as well. I discovered that in addition to combat applications, they were sets of exercises meant to be gentle and effective on the body, meaning they could strengthen your body and fascia without high impact on the muscles and joints.

After so many years of impact training with gymnastics, running, and some trauma from childbirth, I wanted to be gentle on my body. Some of these exercises challenged me because I had to hold static body postures and connect to my breath. After years of using physical activity to keep myself from feeling anxiety, being still to hear the active chatter of my mind was, at times, overwhelming. Over time, I learned to breathe through physical and emotional discomfort instead of letting thoughts run amok in my mind.

Circle walking using the art of mud-stepping from Baguazhang is another discipline I learned and continue to practice. It is very gentle on the body, yet challenging. Holding static body postures while mud-stepping in a circle is one of the most satisfying and difficult things I’ve ever done! It has helped open up and strengthen my fascia. I’ve become structurally strong in my body. It has gently increased my strength and flexibility and when done at a quick pace, works the cardiovascular system.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at

One of my most profound experiences happened a few months ago while I was practicing the Eight Pieces of Brocade at home. As I got to the second or third stance, anxiety bubbled up in my gut. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. My mind urged me to get through the exercises as fast as possible. My legs began to shake. Tears streamed down my face. I wanted to quit. Instead, I found that calm space inside that understood I had nothing to fear. I breathed through the anxiety and continued doing the exercises at a slow pace.

It was the most fascinating experience I’ve ever had as it gave me a safe space to feel the anxiety and then release it from my body instead of stuffing it down. It was an experience that showed me how I truly am creating harmony between the anxious energies that told me false stories and the love and joy I have inside for myself. When I shared my experience with my fellow classmates, everyone congratulated me on the achievement.

No matter what you decide to do for your health, it’s important to reach out for help and do something. Anxiety and depression can make you feel as if no one cares, that no one will want to listen, and can convince you of being a burden if you do. I know I don’t always want to talk about things when I’m anxious, but it’s important that I acknowledge it for myself and at the very least tell people my emotional state. Again, seek medical help from professionals trained to help you. Believe in yourself enough to believe you are worth creating harmony inside.

Sending peaceful wishes your way, Kellie

Note: This article shares personal experiences and is not intended as medical advice. If you feel you may suffer from anxiety, depression or both, please seek medical help.

I learned the above arts from Kelly Whelan-Enns who has been training in the arts of Bagua and Qigong for more than 30 years and teaching here in Winnipeg for more than 15 years. Everyone connects to themselves at their own pace, in their own time. We support everyone with their individual processes, and offer classes to people of all abilities and ages. To inquire, please email:

Darlene Drewniak works with those who seek their truth for the crystalline heart energy within are drawn to her natural flow as a creative medium. For more info on her workshops and classes, contact her at or on Facebook.

© Kellie Kamryn, 2017

IMG_0499Kellie Kamryn is an award-winning erotic romance writer and voice actor, as well as former columnist for Evolved World. Her articles receive a wide reception on her personal website and elsewhere for her commitment to keeping it real, and helping people get in touch with their inner truth by sharing her personal experiences. Kellie loves to hear from readers, so if you have an experience to share, please comment!


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